Wednesday, May 11, 2011

let the sunshine in

sunshine photographs

Yesterday was summer in Chicago.  The sun was yellow and hot for the first time since last September, and regardless of the fact that it was just as abnormal for this time of year as the near freezing temps of last week, it was sweet and healing.

summertime pictures

Bubby dog had a very rough night Monday night (more on that below), and I woke up exhausted and in desperate need of something incredibly cheery to sustain me through the day.  So thank you, sunshine, for being all bright and warm and comforting.  I can't wait for June, when I know you'll be sticking around for a while.

Images: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

First of all, I can't express how grateful I am for the love and support I've received from my readers regarding my muse/soul mate/BFF Bubby dog.  For those who haven't been following our little saga, on April 22nd, Bubby was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and we were told he had "a few days to a few weeks" left to live.  He's 15, so I knew this day was coming, I'd just convinced myself that it would be something slightly less tragic than aggressive cancer.  Either way, I'd been feeling awfully lucky for how wonderfully he's been doing, with absolutely no indication of illness. 

Unfortunately, around 10 PM on Monday night, I looked over to where he was sleeping and saw that he was having a seizure.  I won't get into details, but it was pretty traumatic to watch, and made me realize that the other "collapse" he had was likely a seizure as well.  Thankfully, Robbie was here this time, and it only lasted a few seconds.  Being the magical dog that he is, he snapped out of it, and acted as if it had never happened.  I held him while Robbie called our friend Brandy, an angel of human being who used to be Bubby's vet/lifesaver but sadly moved away to Colorado last fall.  She assured us from his symptoms that there was no need to rush him to the animal ER.  The seizure was a wake up call for us though, and we all slept (or attempted to sleep) downstairs on the floor together, sure in our minds that yesterday would be the day we let him go.

Bubby had different plans though, and despite acting a little sleepier and slightly more stumbly usual, proceeded to go about his business thoughout the day with much more zest than either Robbie or I were able to muster.  We googled the crap out of things like "hemangiosarcoma" and "seizures" in between attempts at work and playtime with Bubby, until mental exhaustion overcame us and we all snuggled up for night #2 of our living room floor slumber party. 

I wish I could say that I had a definitive answer for when we're going to let him go (or that a genie would appear and grant my wish of making it all go away), but all I can do now is watch for the signs and be thankful for whatever time - whether hours or day - I have left with this amazing creature.  No matter what happens, this dog will continue to be my #1 inspiration and greatest gift. 

Thank you again for the kind words and thoughts.  You guys rock, seriously.  I also want to say thank for your patience as I'm a little behind in responding to comments on recent posts, etc.  I'm reading all of them, and appreciate them very much!

As many of you are aware, Blogger decided to take a little vacation into some great blogging abyss for 36ish hours this week, taking with it two days worth of posts and comments from every blog it hosts, including this one.  On 5/13, the missing posts (this one as well as 'Inspired: Music Festivals') magically reappeared.  Unfortunately, all of the wonderful comments did not make the journey back with them.  The comments under this particular post in regard to my Bubby update were incredibly touching, and I'm crossing my fingers that they decide to make their way home too.  If they don't, please know that I read them all, and am very grateful for them.  My readers are the best. 


  1. What an amazing post. I can literally feel the warmth from those pictures.
    Secondly, you poor doggy. You must feel sick to the stomach with worry. Your healing thoughts, and positivity are sure to assist him. He is clearly a very special person. I wish him and you well. Much love. Jo

  2. I can't imagine how hard this is for you but you always stay so positive!! The sunshine pictures are beautiful. Bubby is even more beautiful!! Thank you for updating and including your readers. Bubby has touched so many of us!!

    Hang in there.

  3. Love the cheery sunshine pics. And it must be so hard knowing when to let go of Bubby, but it sounds like you've got good people advising you. Thanks for keeping us updated. Sending lots of love to you and Bubby. xo, Mary

  4. Love the photos today, very nice and brought warmth to my soul :)

    As far as knowing when its time:
    Bubby will tell you. When he no longer is interested in food, toys, people, or anything he enjoys thats usually a good indicator. We tell our pet owners that when they stop doing 3 or 4 things that they always do or enjoy doing. Or if he just seems miserable.

    Although we don't really know each other I can tell just by reading how strong your bond with Bubby is and I think you will be able to tell when its time. Never make it about you and not wanting to let go, but make it about Bubby he will tell you when he's ready.

    I look for your Bubby updates every day, I'm a new reader but will be a longtime reader for sure. Hang in there, enjoy the little things, and cherish every moment you get to have with that furry angel.

  5. awwwww...your doggie is amazing. I hope he's feeling well and I love the floor slumber are truly soul-connected!

  6. i keep saying it's sad because it is. oh hold on bubby, (as long as ur not in pain) darling. & btw melissa luv the cork post below.

  7. It sounds like you have an amazing dog. From the bits you have shared about him, you can really tell. I am sorry your time with him is drawing to a close.

  8. He certainly looks like he is living life to the fullest which is an inspiration to all of us. Many days of sunshine ahead :)

  9. lovely sunny photos!

    so sad to hear about bubby :( it is hard to let a pet go, but it is harder for them to suffer, i hope while he is still around he says active and happy as he can!

  10. I hope the best for bubby! And I too can feel the sunshine from your pics! Not much of it around here in CT.

  11. This totally brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry to hear about Bubby's struggles. I know that you just read my story about losing one of my little furry friends and I'm glad that it helped a little, but I also know this is an impossible time. I think I would just say that there will be a time when you will remember all of the good times and not just miss him beyond belief. It is so sad to lose a pet and I really feel for you right now. My hope for you is that the decision makes itself and that your remaining time with Bubby is joyful and full of love. They really are the best friends a person could ask for.

  12. Melissa, you and Bubby are in my thoughts and prayers.


  13. HUGE thanks again to everyone who comment on this post about Bubby dog. I'm still bummed that Blogger lost them all. :( I did read them though, and am very grateful.


  14. I have tears rolling down my face right now and I'll be hugging my Leary lookalike extra close today (and every day). I hope you have many more miraculous years with your beautiful Bubby.


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