It's official you guys. I have had what has been, I'm fairly sure, the best year of my life so far.
I feel like I've been going at a crazy pace since mid-November, between the busiest season for work, our Dominican trip, a killer stomach flu that collectively wiped us out for a week, lots of family coming in and out of town, and the same holiday madness we all find ourselves in this time of year. We also threw Essley's first birthday party two days after Christmas and then Robbie left the following day for the band's 5-show New Year run, so that post holiday come-down where we usually decompress and relax for a day or two just didn't come this time around. My mind is so tired, but I'm leaving early tomorrow morning to fly to Atlanta to meet Robbie at work for their New Year's Eve and New Year's Day (my birthday!) shows, so there just isn't time to take a real pause quite yet. In between tying up work loose ends, putting away holiday decor, and packing for my trip, however, I did make a conscious effort to sit a reflect for a few minutes yesterday. And I realized just how grateful I am for 2014.
Essley was born on December 28th of 2013, so this was my first real year of being a mom, and I think that was a huge part of (if not the) reason why I'm feeling this way. Neither Robbie or I were especially confident about parenting or sure if this would come naturally to us, especially because we became parents later in life and had many, many years of getting used to only being responsible for ourselves. But somehow, it did come naturally to us. It has all flowed perfectly, and each day, despite much less sleep and much less free time, has been better than the last. Essley is my heart. She has taught me so much, and brought me so much joy. I used to get so sad when Robbie was gone for weeks at a time for work - our house would seem so quiet, and life would begin to feel lonely. I still miss him terribly when he's gone, of course, but it doesn't feel empty anymore. I love her more than I could ever put into words.
This year also marked the time that I said goodbye to my clothing business after 15 years, which although emotionally difficult in some ways, has made my daily life much less stressful. Closing Mountains of the Moon has allowed me to focus more on parts of my career that I really enjoy (the blog, art shop, and freelance gigs), and made it possible for me to continue to work from home with Essley (without only getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night while I squeezed in several additional hours of daily work for my other company). It's been huge. And on that same topic, 2014 has been the year that Bubby and Bean has seen its greatest growth, with a brand new website in October, the addition of a small (and bad ass) team of contributors, and some really incredible opportunities. I'm so excited to see what 2015 brings.
2014 brought a lot of other wonderful experiences for me as well. I got to spend a lot of quality time with friends and family. I was able to take several trips to some of the places I love most. I made a flower garden/meditation space on our deck that was my favorite spot all summer. I focused on eating healthy (except for this past week, but the holidays don't count, right?) and established a real fitness routine for the first time in many, many years (and even ran a 5k, which to this non-runner, felt like a big deal!). Robbie and Essley and I made the effort to do all sorts of awesome things together as a family. It sounds so cheesy, but there was a lot more laughter than tears. A lot. And it hasn't always been that way. We all have shitty years (2010, I'm still not quite over your wrath), but this year was not one of them. I'm crossing my fingers hard that next year can be just like this one - in new and different ways, and hopefully many of the same as well.
The blog was sort of quiet last week, and will be for the rest of this week as well. I think we're all probably online a lot less this time of year, and that's a good thing. I'll be back on Monday, with lots of fun posts scheduled for next week. After that, things will be back to normal around here.
I hope that 2014 was good to all of you too. I can't thank you enough for coming here and reading what I have to say, for commenting, for emailing, for following me over on Instagram and Twitter and taking the time to interact with me in those spaces, and for actually being interested in the little world of Bubby and Bean. You guys are the biggest source of inspiration for this blog, and it means so much to me that you're here. Happy New Year. See you soon.
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FILED UNDER: random thoughts/life