I'm going to try to keep this reasonably short, but I wanted to take a few minutes to update my blog readers as to what's going on around these parts. There are a lot of unknowns happening right now, including whether I'll be delivering the baby sooner than planned (which obviously will affect the blog and my posting schedule). I have some great guest bloggers lined up for my 'maternity leave' after our daughter arrives, but I was expecting a couple more weeks before that would be necessary. Right now, there is a lot up in the air.
On Tuesday morning, I went in for my routine weekly OB appointment and my blood pressure was dangerously high - out of nowhere. My ankles, feet, and hands were also very swollen, and I had some pain on my right side. I was told that I was being immediately sent to the hospital for more intense monitoring and testing as these were all symptoms of Preeclampsia - a very serious pregnancy complication that if left untreated, can be fatal for the baby, the mother, or both. I was also told that I should probably contact my husband (who was in Mexico for work until the following night) and tell him to get on the soonest flight back, as there was a good chance that I would be induced that night.
I was terrified. Thankfully my mom was able to leave work and drive out to be at the hospital with me since Robbie was out of the country. I won't get into the details, but after about six hours of being hooked up to various monitors, my initial lab results came back to show that it didn't look like I had Preeclampsia. (THANK GOODNESS.) I was, however, diagnosed with Gestational Hypertension (also serious, though less so) and sent home on strict bed rest. (Basically, I was instructed that I could get up to go the bathroom - nothing more). I also had to do a 24-hour urine collection (sorry if that's TMI) to double check for protein since they couldn't completely rule out Preeclampsia until further testing was done. And I was told that regardless, I will be induced at some point before my due date. Robbie was able to get on a flight back and arrived home Tuesday night. I'm pretty sure I cried for a good half hour when I saw him. I have never been so relieved.
Yesterday, I had to go back for a follow-up. There was no protein in the urine tests (yaaay!), but my blood pressure was even higher than the day before (boooo!). So I have to go back today to have it tested again, along with more blood work (one of my liver values is elevated) and another nonstress test to make sure baby is still okay. I will continue to go in daily, and if any of the lab work is off or my blood pressure continues to rise, we will schedule the induction.
I know a lot of people who have experienced complications at the end of their pregnancies, and everything usually works out perfectly fine. But I will be honest and tell you guys that I am a hundred times more scared of labor and delivery now than I was a few days ago. I was really at peace with the experience before - even looking forward to it. Now I have anxiety bordering on panic. I wake up several times a night shaking and sweating. I know that this isn't good for the baby. I know that fear is not a productive emotion. I get all that. It's not something I can help though. I'm doing my best to remain calm, and my best is all I can do. No one's birth plans ever go exactly the way they think they will, and I never expected things to be even close to how I imagined them in my head. (The top of my birth plan even states that I am fully aware of and open to the possibility of things not working out as planned.) But I feel a tiny bit traumatized by the whole incident of being rushed to the hospital the other day with the chance of induction without my husband in the country, and now that there are complications that could turn worse at any moment, I'm a little freaked out. Being forced to lie on the couch all day on bed rest is also the perfect setting for over-thinking and obsessing, FYI.
All fears aside, I am so, so grateful that things aren't as bad as they could be, and that Robbie is home now and will be here for the birth of his daughter. And although having to suddenly shut down my Etsy shop way ahead of when I'd planned, put my employee in charge of everything with the clothing line, and rearrange my blog schedule has all left me frazzled, I am making as much of an effort as possible to relax. This is one of those life lessons where you have to somehow find the strength to relinquish control and accept things as they are. I didn't get everything done (or even close) that needs to be done before baby is born. I didn't finish my Christmas shopping. My house is in shambles and we have guests staying here in a few days. I don't like the way it feels for so much to be left undone, but that's just the way it has to be. And all that really matters is getting our little bean here safe and sound. Everything else will have to wait.
If any of you who have been pregnant have experienced any kind of end-of-pregnancy complications and feel comfortable sharing, I'd love to hear. I could especially use stories with positive outcomes to put my mind at ease!
P.S. And on a totally different topic, the winners of the Wild Eyes Giveaway (as chosen by random.org) are:
Congratulations! Please contact me at bubbyandbean(at)gmail.com so we can discuss getting you your prizes. And if you haven't yet, be sure to enter the Viesso Giveaway for the chance to win a gorgeous handmade flow jug (worth $85!).