Monday, August 29, 2011

Premarital Musings: Wedding Stress + Taking Breaks

wedding planning stress

Aside from the Mason Jar Candle DIY I posted a couple of weeks ago, it's been almost a month since I've done a post even remotely wedding-themed.  There is a reason, my friends, for this hiatus.  See, there's this thing that everyone warns you about, called "wedding planning stress."  But since I'm soooo realistic and together and stuff, and because our wedding is just soooo laid back, I assured all of my married friends and family that I simply didn't need to worry about that.  Yep.

Robbie and I had always planned to elope, and then maybe have a little get-together at a bar or something.  Once we got engaged, however, the designer in me just couldn't fathom the thought of not designing the invitations, programs, decor, food, dress, etc.  I mean, how could I possibly get married without hand making 400 washi tape drink stirrers???  So we decided we'd just do it.  We'd have a real wedding.

handmade wedding invitations

Well, guess what?  No matter how much I promised myself that things wouldn't get out of hand, they kind of did.  When you're self-employed and you have to work a lot, and your fiance is on the road for weeks at a time, and you have a sick doggy, taking on another time-and-energy-consuming gig (i.e. planning a wedding) can be quite the shock.  Super casual wedding or otherwise, it can make you a little crazy, which in turn can make your partner a little crazy.  Maybe this wouldn't be the case if I had fancy things like wedding planners or rich relatives handing me their platinum credit cards, but alas, wedding planning stress got me.  Good.  Lesson learned. 
wedding mess

And hence, I come to the reason for which, until now, there haven't been any wedding themed posts. We took a major step back, and stopped planning - completely - for a while.  This doesn't mean we spent the last few weeks sitting on the beach drinking strawberry margaritas and staring aimlessly at puffy clouds.  Things have still been nonstop chaos.  But we took a wedding planning breather.  Yes, we are aware of the fact that our wedding is in one month.  And regardless of the fact that my wedding 'to do' list now contains tasks that most people have done six months in advance - or the fact that in 48 hours, my fiance leaves town with the band until 4 days before the wedding - I'm feeling much better about the whole thing.  This is about us being in love, after all.  And 400 handmade washi tape drink stirrers aren't going to make or break that.

wedding planning break

For those of you recently engaged or planning a wedding in the near future, let me stand on my soap box and shout out the very advice that I so confidently rejected...  Breathe.  This stuff doesn't matter.  Truly.  You're in LOVE.  It's about you and your partner, period.  Print this out and tape it to your bathroom mirror.  Write it on a cute post-it and slap it on your computer.  Or on your forehead.  Whatever works.  Just do your best not to be the overachieving, wedding workaholic that I was.  Instead, close your eyes and kiss your future husband or wife, and think about the amazing journey you're about to take together.  And I don't mean the wedding.  I mean life.  Crap and all.

How was your weekend?  What did everyone do?  I think this may have been the first weekend since I started Bubby and Bean that I chose to take a break and not post.  We had a crazy few days, between Bubby dog having yet another major seizure (we switched to a med called Keppra; cross your fingers!), trying to function on very little sleep, and preparing for Robbie to leave. It didn't feel like a weekend, but maybe that's a good thing in terms of Monday feeling less Monday-ish?

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  1. Good for you on taking a break, Melissa. After all, your friends and family just want to be with you and see you get married and have fun. They don't care how perfect everything is.

    I hope Bubby is feeling better! I also got very little sleep b/c of hurricane, but feeling much better today.

  2. I hear you! I wanted to elope the first time I got married and my ex insisted on a wedding. Of course, the planning still fell to me and even though it was small (in relation to most) it as very stressful and I still remember that time as being pretty miserable...NOT how you want to think about your wedding. This time around...NO WEDDING for the mister and I...hello court house! We will plan a small party/get together but I am not going through wedding-mania again.

  3. I'm glad you're feeling less stressed! My wedding is still 8 months away and even I was starting to feel a bit of that. But I saw someone recently wrote on their blog, if at the end of the day you end up married to your true love than it was a great wedding! So you are totally going to have the best wedding ever!

  4. This post is so freaking cute :-). And funny, and true!! I think you're a million times more down to earth than the vast majority of brides and your wedding will be so special!! I'm glad you took a breather and I bet that gives more motivation to get the rest done. I hope Bubby dog is doing better too. It sucks to see your fur babies have seizures, I had to as well and it's the worst feeling in the whole world!!

  5. P.S. I LOVE the new/redesigned header!!

  6. Great wedding advice. Let's just say I had more than one (ten) wedding related meltdowns when planning my wedding. Looking back on it now- it all seems so silly and unimportant! You are so right on with that drink stirrers example :)

  7. Great post and kudos to making your own invitations!!

  8. agreed! it's one day, & marriage is your whole life. hugs to leary, finger crossing, & best wishes to you both, touring, life mayhem, & all...

  9. i feel as though i would be a similar bride. wanting to hand make everything and have things be fun and casual - but end up making a TON of work for myself. good luck! and your right it is most important that your in love, not that you have handmade drink stirrers :)



  10. Oh, I am sure that once your wedding is over you would be finally relaxed and ready to have it simple and stress free. But then... well, it will be a bit late.

    On the other hand, how can a organizing a big event can go stress free; it's just human nature!

  11. You're a brave soul in taking on so many things! You're right about love, it's what matters on your wedding day.

  12. We got married so young, that I had very little idea what to even do. My wife did a lot of the planning by herself, and I happily helped where I could. It is a lot of prep and a lot of work for a day that goes by so quickly, but I will say that in 8 years when you look at the album and say, "oh yeah i remember making that" It will all be sooooo worth the effort you put in.

  13. Thanks for your comments everyone! I'm definitely feeling relieved after my minor epiphany that this stuff isn't important. I'm still going to do my best to put unique, loving detail into the wedding design, but whatever doesn't get done doesn't get done. And I'm cool with that. :)


  14. You definitely needed a break!

  15. My wedding is coming up in october and everyone around me are the ones freaking out since I'm taking my time with doing things. I just don't want to stress out!
    I'm so sorry to hear about buddy! I hope his new medicine works better

    Good luck with the rest of your planning!

  16. Thats good you took a break. You definitely deserve one. And I'm glad bubby dog is doing well! Just remember to breathe whenever things get crazy. :)


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